Icebreakers gum

Today, I caught myself wondering 'what was I doing at this time, on this day, 10 years ago?'

I was in 7th grade, so I was probably sitting in some science class, smelling of Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers and peeling the silver backing off gum wrappers and applying them to a folder while wondering to myself what I would be doing at this time, on this day, 10 years from now.

I don't live in the now. I like to live in the back then and the next thing.

Fumble!

You know that Seinfeld when Jerry accidentally drops his girlfriend's toothbrush in the bowl and then she brushes her teeth with it before he has a chance to tell her what happened? Then he avoids kissing her, they break up, and she vengefully dips something of his in the toilet, leaving him to wonder what it is. (It winds up being the toilet brush- after he throws out every kitchen utensil he owns.)
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On occasion, I too completely lose control of my hands and drop something in the toilet. A couple years ago I haphazardly flung a beaded necklace in the toilet, and after removing it I scrubbed and dipped it in rubbing alcohol- and yet I really don't think I've worn it since. I see it and think 'toilet necklace', and move on to the next choice.

This morning I dropped a pump of hand sanitizer in the toilet. I was so mad at myself during the retrieval process, but I managed to laugh at the irony as I fished the sanitizer out of such an unsanitary little pool.

Now I just need to invent some kind of toilet guard for clumsy fools like myself to prevent this horrible little situation. Oh wait, I think someone did invent that already- it's called a lid, and I just need to use it. Cool.

I work at a physician staffing firm...

Today my work phone rang and the display said "PRESBYTERIAN HO".

I should have snapped a photo. The caller ID cut off the end of Presbyterian Hospital.

It's the little things in life, really...

Hard Rock and Rubble

Today, most of us in Dallas are mourning the demolition of the Hard Rock. This pretty 101 year-old lady saw a lot of action, first as a historic church, and then as the house of hamburgers and Bay City Rollers collectibles. She will live on in our hearts, and on Google StreetView, at least for a while.

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In other news, my latest internet addiction is Very Short List (VSL). They send you an email each day with information about something cool- usually a CD or book that recently came out. I have found their recommendations to be pretty awesome, and I like having something in my inbox besides spam (V1@Ggra h%f oFF!) and forwards from my mom, which usually look something like this:

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Fwd: OMG Using BIC pens causes brain cancer!

Fwd: Boycott jif Pnut butter- the CEO donates money to satanism.

Fwd: A young boy's final wish *SO TOUCHING*

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Tricks criminals use to kill women ~ TeLl eVerYoNe!

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After deleting all of these, I politely direct my mom to snopes and request yet again that she stop sending me forwards. She's a sweetheart, and I know she does it out of love- after all, she doesn't want me to donate money to satanism or get killed after I unwittingly wear a gang color to the grocery store.

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I'd like to read some scholar's paper on the effect of e-mail on family relations/communication. Now that's something they should put on VSL.

MacAttack

So I realize it's been an absurdly long time since I updated this thing, but I have been busy doing extremely important things. Like watching American Gladiator and doing the giant q-tip fight thing with my husband. And playing Rock Band for hours on end.

While I enjoy blogging, it really is kind of difficult. I can't be all witty and smart alecky and hilarious at the drop of the hat. Moments of inspiration are seldom, and when some of my best ideas strike I am nowhere near a computer (or even paper- old school) and I forget these funny little thoughts in my head. Which are really not that funny at all, even to me.

What's really been on my mind this week is a computer. I love watching the MacWorld keynote with Steve Jobs every year. I love Steve Jobs every year. I love Steve Jobs every day. Steve Jobs for president. (If I keep up like this I will be in the top five results when you google Steve Jobs.)

I'm kind of lusting after the new MacBook Air. Which should really be called MacRexia. Or MacUlimia because it vomits up awesome. Then I remind myself I already have a really great MacBook Pro that meets all my needs and runs quite fast for being a couple years old, and I really don't need a skinny, sexy Air at all. The specs kind of suck. It's a weak computer. Plus I like a larger screen anyway, for design purposes. And I like my laptops with a disc drive.

Why do weekends have to end?

Number 437 on the list of things I'd rather do that go to work tomorrow:

Have a 16-pound rectal tumor.